Effing Pink Eye

I woke up today with a plan. I was going to run 4 miles – possibly 5 depending on my route. And then….I woke up and my left eye was grimy and gross and….PINK EYE. If you’re a normal person, this is inconvenient and bad enough. If you’re a legally BLIND person who relies on her contacts to see ANYTHING smaller than a dump truck, this is catastrophe.

I can’t wear my contacts. For all you happy glasses-wear-ers, mazel tov. Not I, said the little angry Sam. My glasses are heavy despite being “feather weight” because my prescription is approximately -50000000 or something. I have zero peripheral vision and it drives me crazy. I can’t wing my eyeliner and that maddens me. How can I be aerodynamic without winged eyeliner?! And run in these things?! No way.

So. I see my eye doc this morning and I’m laying it down. What’s a little scratched cornea or two between friends? I’m running in my contacts and then I will take them out and behave myself with my horrible, awful nightmare glasses on. I’ll wear them and be sad, just the way he orders me to. It should take me no more than an hour from prep time to run and contacts-out time. I think my pink eye/s can manage an hour without totally falling out of my head.

Did I mention that I have already googled LASIK surgery today? Granted I’m shutting the barn after the horse has gotten pink eye, but maybe down the road… The road that I’m running today in a TOTALLY noncompliant way.

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